Furniture Reporter

Dad’s old cash register.
Now on permanent display at Books Actually.
No. 5 Ann Siang Road. t / +65 6221 1170

Dad's DNA

Uncle Duke is my dog-in-law.

He is a 14 year-old doberman who has his own bedroom (with a dresser) and couch in my father-in-law’s living room. While we lived with them for 5 months, we actually had to teach ONE that she was only allowed to sit on the recliner. If she sat on the couch he would jump on it and nudge her until she’d fall on the floor. Somehow, by the time we left ONE was was like his personal car alarm. If we neared the couch with the intention of sitting on it, she’d freak out and remind us that it was “Dukie’s couch,” and would then recommend that we sit on the floor.

Anyway, my brother-in-law is moving to Boston this morning and my father-in-law is driving him up there. Uncle Duke is here.

He’s been here for 26 minutes now and has not stopped whining. I let him out front to prove to him that I wasn’t hiding my father-in-law in the front yard. What a dumb move. I had no idea how stubborn he really is. At 5 in the morning I chased Uncle Dookie around the neighborhood. Barefoot, in my pajamas, into and out of other people’s yards, in someone’s garage, down a straight line in the middle of the street. Even this dumb old doberman is faster than I am.

One of my closest friends has several dobermen, so I can’t kill this one without offsetting our friendship. But Uncle Duke is very, very loud. He doesn’t believe that he should be here. And he doesn’t care that this is my “me-time” and that my kids are still sleeping.

And now he’s added a howl to his cry.

Hasn’t he lived longer than most dogs of his breed?

It’s quiet. Hmmmm…

Yeah, it was because he was scoping out our new couch. I think I pissed him off by making a wall of the cushions because now he’s whining and howling again.

Um, no. There will be no Dukie on our furniture. He may not be a dog at his house, but he is at ours.

It’s going to be a loooooooong two days…

Oscar the Couch

• Description: Don’t judge it by its looks. This could just be the most comfortable couch you’ve ever lost a Tiki Token in.
• Rarity: Common
• Category: Furniture
• Estimated Value: 25,000
• Notes: None
• Wearable Locations: None
• Effects: None
• ID: 272
• Available: Home Repository, Woo Trading Company

Zen Rug

• Description: Can this rug bring you a sense of neutrality?
• Rarity: Unusual
• Category: Furniture
• Estimated Value: 15,000
• Notes: None
• Wearable Locations: None
• Effects: None
• ID: 269
• Available: Home Repository, Woo Trading Company

Dark Pond

• Description: Deeper water? Or is it just shadier? I wonder.
• Rarity: Very Rare
• Category: Furniture
• Estimated Value: 100,000
• Notes: None
• Wearable Locations: None
• Effects: None
• ID: 273
• Available: Home Repository, Woo Trading Company